Kaiken se kestää
by Emppumamma
Summary: EST X FIN (x Rus) WARNINGS: rated [M] for; Boylove, angst, violence, drug and alcohol use, abusive relationsip, smut in later chapters, foul language.


_"It takes everything"/"It lasts trough everything"._

Inspirational music: Everything Lovex.

~Enjoy~

Eduard grinned widely as he looked down to what would be his working-ground for that evening. He had a soft bed, pile of physics- and chemistry-books and a laptop. What could make an evening any better? Oh, yeah, a cup of coffee and a good friend! With those thoughts, he quickly picked up his phone from the nightstand, and dialed a very familiar number, taking the phone to his ear. While it was ringing, he went to the kitchen to fetch himself a nice, steaming cup of black and rich coffee to top his night.

"Hey, dude, what are you doing?", he blabbered as he heard that the call was picked up. But the voice that answered to him was not the usual manly and cheerful voice, but a feminine and worried voice, "Hi Eduard... Tino is not home right now, would you like me to take him a message?"

"Taina? I just...uhm, do you know when Tino will come back? We were supposed to study sometime soon together..."

"Well, the thing is that he hasn't actually came home for two days now, and I'm kind of worried if he'll ever come back...," the girl muttered, voice breaking towards the end. Eduard felt a lump in the back of his throat, knowing that it was way too alarming that Tino hadn't came home like that, or even called to his little sister. Everyone knew that those two cared so deeply for each other that they should have always known where the other was, especially after their mother's death, which had effected both of the siblings in a shocking manner.

"Hasn't...hasn't came back for a few days? Did he mention anything about going out with others before he left?"

"He said that he'd see Ivan at the mall and be back in about four hours, and then he just left with his motorcycle," Taina sighed heavily, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, I hope Tino will come back home soon~," Eduard tried to reassure that to both himself and the hysteric-growing girl, "don't worry too much over him, okay? I have to go now, but call me if you hear anything new."

"You too...he might come over to your house if he is too drunk to dare to come home, so call me if so happens. Bye~."

With a long, heavy sigh, Eduard ended the call, letting his arm fall. That idiot had gone to see Ivan again... Nothing good had ever happened from that, ever. The Estonian knew well enough that alcohol wasn't the only thing those two would use. And what about driving around the city piss-drunk on those damned motorcycles? The only thing Tino would ever earn from that would be an open skull and a ticked to the underworld. It was such waste for a young talent like him. Those fingers that could play the best notes from a guitar, and that sharp mind that came up with the most imaginative lyrics? Wasted, all wasted. Shaking his head with a frown plastered onto his face, he returned to his bedroom, forgetting his coffee to the kitchen, and just sat on the edge of his bed, staring to his bare feet that looked pale even against the white rug. Why hadn't he ever stopped Tino from being such a reckless idiot? He could have done it, couldn't he? He could have told Tino what a bad man Ivan was, he could have told Tino how Ivan had tormented him at school, and how his sister had died because of Ivan too. But how could he have told of such things, when he had never told of them to anyone? Not even when the police had came to ask him about the 'accident'. It had been far from an accident, more of a suicide, but how could they have known that without Eduard. None of them had seen it like he had. He had followed how Ivan had drained each drop of life and love from the beautiful Estonian girl, and then slowly made her so depressed that she had arranged a car-accident for herself by driving out onto the highway with one flat tire right after the rain. That girl had always had such brilliant ideas, but now they were all wasted too, and with such an ending! Horrible, horrible ending for a brilliant girl. The train of his dark thought was interrupted by a sharp ring of the doorbell. It was so demanding, so alarming that Eduard flinched even on the third time it pierced his eardrums. Without a second thought, the Estonian blonde ran to the door, opening the safety-chain with trembling hands. He knew who it was. It always ended up like this.

"Don't say anything..." the man behind the opening door muttered, leaning to the doorframe, clearly exhausted and drunk. But this wasn't the usual drunk Tino. This was more a melancholic, depressed Tino. Eduard swallowed tightly and opened the door more to let his friend slide into the apartment. Tino lazily dropped his biking-helmet to the oak-wooden floor, stepping out of his sneakers and heading to the livingroom, then flopping down on to the sofa and not moving a single muscle after that. He just... laid there, like some rotten corpse. Eduard took a deep breath and sat onto the arm of the sofa, next to Tino. It hurt him to see the dried blood on the corner of Tino's lips, and the colorful bruises on his face and neck that had been exposed from under his leather jacket. He reeked so much like sex, alcohol and cigarettes.

"Did Ivan beat you up again...?" Eduard asked quietly as he started opening the zipper of Tino's black jacket. If he just could have done so, he'd have burned it into ashes right then and there. It had been a gift from Ivan. A truly damned present really.

"None of your business...", Tino murmured with a frown, opening his eyes just a bit so he could give Eduard a piercing glare, but didn't protest more against the whole undressing-part.

"Taina was worried about you too. She told me that you haven't been home for two days...shouldn't you have called her? You know how fragile her mind has been after your mother died", he kept on speaking, voice getting slightly more steady as he fought with the zipper and therefore had something to look at instead of Tino's colorful face.

"That bitch needs to learn to take care of her own things and stop worrying over nothing...idiotic brat." Never before had Eduard heard Tino calling his sister a bitch, or really actually insulting her in any way. That moment Eduard realized that the Tino he knew was long gone. A dead mind inside this manhandled and alcohol-dazzled body, possibly to never be woken up again. Oh god how did his heart feel like bursting open from the pain. It was not Tino that was laying on his sofa. No, this was just another one of Ivan's toys.

"Tino, think of what you are saying...d-do you even hear you yourself? That's not you who's speaking-" the man couldn't finish his sentence before a heavy hand had hit him to the cheek, slapping him down to the floor.

"I told you to not say anything...Don't you ever listen to me, faggot?! Vitun vitun vittu, eihä tällästä kestä, perkele..." Tino roared, but with his voice slowly crumbling into mumbles in his native language towards the end.

Eduard couldn't say a word. His lips were like two numb pieces of paper just glued to his face, and tongue was suddenly five times too big. But his shock wasn't from pain. No, he didn't even feel the hit anymore. The thing that mattered was that Tino had actually raised his hand against his best friend. The one that had cared for him always and given him all the company and friendship he could ever have asked for. If only...if only he could have kicked Tino out of his apartment and left him to rot out on the walkway. But he could not. Too many feelings, too many warm memories, too much...love? Eduard hadn't ever before really thought about it, but..he loved Tino. Now he understood it all. He understood why he stood this kind of behavior, why he was so willing to put up with it, and most important of all, why he still had faith in Tino after all this.

Slowly he got up from the floor, brushing off some dust from the side of his jeans, staring down to the boy laying lifeless on the sofa. He wanted to say something. He really did. Anything. I love you? I hate you? Get better? Ivan is not good for you? Stop drinking? ...He couldn't say anything right then. Everything seemed too dull, too meaningless.

"Good night, Tino." Was that it? Why had he said that? Eduard frowned at his own words, but staying there right now would just have probably caused him a black eye. Tino was high, wasn't he? He was not a violent drunk, or at least with Eduard he had never been one.

"E-Eduard..." a voice muttered suddenly after he had taken a few steps away, and a hand clung to the back of his shirt. The grip had no power in it, no willpower to keep him there. "Please...I know you hate me now but,...now I need you to turn and stay with me..."Tino's voice was so clear. It was the voice of a lost little boy. The voice of a boy that had lost his direction and needed his daddy to come and save him from the scary monsters under his bed.

"Tino...?" Eduard frowned slightly, looking back to the man. That look in his eyes made the Estonian's heart ache so badly. It /was/ his Tino underneath that rough shell. His lovely, fun-loving Tino that just needed to be helped out of the prison in which his mind had been put by the Russian man.

"Help me...I just...I can't take this anymore", he sniffled, letting his fingers straighten out lazily as his hand flopped down to the floor. He was so exhausted, both emotionally and physically. He knew that this had to end too. But how could he ever? Now he had hurt his best friend, possibly ruined their friendship too, and he was way too hooked to Ivan to ever get away from that steel grip... "Help me, Eduard, please," he cried out almost silently, only lips forming words in the end. The Estonian didn't remember when he had last seen Tino cry, It must have been years ago! Yeah, back in the day when they were still young and not-so-innocent teenagers...It had been because of Tino's mother's death, hadn't it? A tragedy... Was this the same? Would Tino possibly get killed, or worse even, kill himself if he wouldn't stop and help him now?

Eduard kneeled quickly to the floor, and took Tino's cold hand to his own. He couldn't be sure which one's hand was trembling, but it made him just hold Tino's hand tighter, pressing his lips over the knuckles that were now white from the pressure with which the Finn held his hand.

"I'll help you to get rid of him...I-I'll help you to get better. I'll help you with anything you'd ask for!" Eduard sobbed now too, pressing light kisses onto Tino's hand over and over again, without even noticing it.

"Y-you'd help me, even if I have only been hurting you a-and been an idiot?" Tino muttered in shivering voice, barely above whispering. His voice was raw and coarse from the crying, eyes still half-lidded and glimmering with tears.

"I lover you, kurat...I have always loved you, and it really hurts me to see you like this!" he almost yelled to Tino's face, tears now running down his cheeks too. He then realized what he had just said, and it felt like all of his blood would have flushed down from his face. What if Tino would hit him again? Would his random confession break the last straw that held them together? Would Tino start hating on him, like he hated on almost every other gay men? From the corner of his blurry eye, he saw how Tino's right hand rose up slowly. Eduard closed his eyes, biting his teeth sharply together in fright, ready to take the harsh slap. But...it never came. Instead of a hit, Tino's hand just brushed his hair very gently, finger trembling as they combed trough the darker blonde locks. "You...love me? That made me feel really happy inside~...I feel like...I feel like I might be able to get better now", the Finn's voice murmured from above, as he had with some difficulties, got himself to sitting position, and then leaned down slowly. The kiss was soft and sloppy, but full of emotions. A blurry mix of salty tears, heartbreaking sorrow and newborn hope, but most important of them, pure, innocent love. The taste of vodka and cigarettes on Tino's lips didn't even bother Eduard when he pulled the Finn even closer now, deepening the kiss to let all of his love and sorrow just flow out into Tino.

"Oh god...I love you so much that I can't even find words for it...", Eduard heard Tino mutter against his lips as he pulled away for a breath, and it made him smile for the first time that evening after the call.

Eduard woke up to sun's bright light shining right onto his face from between the soft blue curtains of the living room's window. What was he doing in the livingroom...? Had he fallen asleep on the sofa again? "Dammit, my eyes hurt...", he mumbled and rubbed his eyes, yawning. He was about to rise from the sofa, when suddenly he felt a weak yank on his waist, and heard a small groan from behind him. "Don't go yet, Eetu...you are so warm," Tino whispered, nuzzling his face against the Estonian's back, which made the said man's lips curl into a soft smile. He slowly remembered what had happened last night. Right, Tino had came here after something had happened, they had been here, he had been kissed, and they had laid down onto the sofa and... Ah, yes, now he remembered. "Tino, I need to go make coffee...you want some, don't you?" he chuckled, turning his torso to the side a bit so he could stroke Tino's messy hair, getting only a small whine as a reply. "It's too bright here...my head is going to explode!"

"Sorry, sorry, I forgot that you must have a hangover..." He rose from the sofa, wiggling out of Tino's hug and went to close the blinds. But he could only take a step towards the window before he froze. Someone had painted the words "Die, faggot" onto his window with black paint. What kind of idiot would do that?! Was it a joke, or...should it possibly be taken seriously? The Livingroom was on the first floor, and there was just a patio and an open backyard, so anyone that walked outside could basically have came to write that there... But why? Who would have had any reason to do that? Nobody had ever done such things in that part of the neighborhood, no.

~Merpmerpmerpmerp~

Moikka to all you lovely babbus and derps!

This fanfiction will be basically all about Eduard and Tino, and occasionally starring Ivan too, even if he is quite an important character for the plot. For those, who were wondering about the Taina-girl there, that's basically fem!Finland. In this story, Nyotalians will have the roles of siblings for the main-characters, just like Eduard's sister, whom now is dead.  
Talking about deaths- There will be A LOT of those in this fanfiction, mainly because it has always been a visible part of my plots and stories. Very Finnish, mind you.

So yes, I'm sorry for the typos and bad grammar, English is my third language, Finnish being the main.

Risut ja Ruusut/Sticks and Roses, are welcome! Please use that review-button, it keeps me motivated~


End file.
